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  1. Clever Hans

From the recording Happy Yet?

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Clever Hans

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Hans tapping on the floor
Causes much applause
Keeps them tinkering
Attentions divided

They gathered round the shed
Where he was safely stabled
Hoof-committing calculus
With intelligence enabled

Two times five is too much for me
Dear goddess Epona show some clemency
All that I want is what does me some good
A dumb brute is so much safer

Hands writing on the wall
Continues to explore
Keeps them tinkering
His new pet companions

Unguarded moments
Were fleetingly enabled
As clever Hans puts food
Squarely on the table

One plus one, it all equals hay
A carrot for a stick says the human prey
A crease on the brow and a sigh in the air
Hans becomes Freud's little bitch mare

Eighteen people staring back at me
Ten wearing hats, eight more have fleas
four hundred and ten cobbles laid out in squares
one hundred thoughts and eighty two gestures

I want to multiply the people who believe where I tread
Defy consensus of a science that makes claims on my head
Create a bias that's unconscious now it's oh so in vogue
Subtracting viewpoints with another ten gestures

Hans the Trotter likes to tap along and dance real cool
He's at his best asleep but sometimes likes to jump on a fool
Hans the Trotter is as keen as they come and they go
He's a keen-eyed superglue hero